The Desert is a Gift

When Jesus sprung out of the water at his baptism, the Holy Spirit descended, the clouds parted, the sun seemed to focus into a single ray that shone on Jesus' face and these thunderous words were heard from heaven, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."  

The next verse indicates that Jesus is then "cast out" by the Spirit of God into the desert "to be tempted by the devil."  The word interpreted "drove" in the book of Mark is the same word he uses to describe a demon being "cast out."  In a very real sense, Jesus' entrance into the desert was not one that he would've chosen for himself.  The Spirit of God thrust him into a very unfamiliar place.  While we do know that Jesus was willing, we can assume that he may not have been feeling particularly excited about entering a wilderness, where there is no food, water, or people to rely on.  The feeling of the desert is loneliness, homelessness, restlessness and directionlessness.  The desert is a place of wandering.  There are no handholds. Everything that you have relied on in the past is gone.  There is no place to rest your head. You are scared. You are desperate.  You are needy.  You are hungry, tired, hopeless, and overwhelmed.  This is why the Spirit of God had to drive Jesus there.   It was not a place that Jesus would've chose for himself.   Jesus may have been willing, but the desert was not his top pick of a reward for being the beloved and pleasing Son of God. 

The only things/persons that Mark records being in the desert are Satan, the wild beasts, the angels, and the Spirit of God.  There were enemies and allies; nothing else is in the desert.  So what is the desert for? Why would God announce the belovedness and pleasantness of his Son and then send him to such a loveless and unpleasant place?  

Maybe the answer lies in a change of perspective.  Maybe, just maybe, the Spirit's perspective of the desert is much different than our own.  In the eyes of the Spirit, the desert was the best thing for Jesus. In the eyes of the Spirit, the desert was a gift!

The desert was a gift because it was a place of identity-formation. The announcement of Jesus' belovedness and pleasantness was not enough; Jesus needed to experience the truth of his newly announced identity.  The desert was the place where he found out who he was apart from all the props of life.  Prior to the desert Jesus had his family, the community, the synagogue, and Jewish culture to support who he was.  But in the desert, he had nothing to rely on.  The only two things in the desert were Satan and the Spirit. Jesus had to choose to believe that he was still beloved and pleasant to the Father even though his circumstances and emotions spoke otherwise.  Nothing in the desert gives you evidence that you are loved. In fact, the desert feels more like punishment than love, more like abandonment than withness.  It is exactly this that forms our identity: can I trust that I am still loved and that he is still with me even in the midst of dryness and pain? Jesus' choice to rely on the Spirit and believe the truth of his identity even in the desert was crucial to his effectiveness in ministry.  Jesus' entire ministry would be built on and sustained by the reliance and truth he learned in the desert.  In the desert, Jesus was being prepared for Spirit-filled ministry.

The desert was also a place of intimacy with God.  Contrary to how we may see the desert, God saw it as a place to be alone with Jesus. The invitation was not an invitation to loneliness, but union.  It was not a place of homelessness, but of finally being at home in one's own skin.  It was not a place of restlessness, but of quiet rest on the Father's chest.  It was not a place of directionlessness, but a  path towards a lifetime of purposeful engagement with the Father. Jesus was not alone, he was alone with God.  Jesus was not abandoned, he was being drawn closer. The invitation of the desert is an invitation to intimacy.  

  

So then, if you are feeling like God is casting you into a desert, like there is nothing to hold onto, do not resist. You may not want to go, but realize that it is not punishment. God is not sending you into the corner for a time-out, he is driving you straight into his firm embrace.  God is waiting for you in the wilderness.  God is longing for intimacy with his beloved and well-pleasing sons and daughters. He wants you to experience the truth of your identity as beloved.  He wants to be with you.  He wants you.  So as we are confronted with the desert, let us willingly accept the invitation.  Let us be led headlong into intimacy with the Father. 

Communication

Why is it so hard to communicate my needs?  I know I have them, but I fail to communicate. I fail to let you in.  Because it's scary to admit to someone else that you need them, that you aren't "fine,"  that life sucks.  It's scary to tell someone "no" or "i've had enough" or "I need you to love me differently."  It's scary to put up boundaries.  Half the time my boundaries are crossed it's because I don't tell someone what my boundaries are. And what follows doesn't help:

Resentment.  That's what happens when I don't communicate my needs.  

Blame.  That's what happens when I don't want to take responsibility for not communicating my needs. 

Anger.  That's what happens when I feel taken advantage of because I haven't communicated my needs.  

Change.  That's what happens when I direct my anger into a healthy drive to communicate my needs.  

 

Trust

This is a sketch by Rembrandt he called "Peter."  It is a depiction of Peter's faith journey from the safety of the boat, to the the treachery of the water.  If you look closely, Peter is sketched in three different positions.  Take some time to ask yourself where you are in relation to Jesus.  What are the feelings you feel?  Why are you in this position? How is Jesus responding to you? 

Community and Individuality

What are we most afraid of? We are most afraid of committed intimate relationships.  There is something about commitment to a group that is so hard to accomplish because I am afraid that in submitting myself to a group of fallen others, I will be lost, trampled on, forgotten, exploited. Community threatens our individuality. If I commit to this group of people, they will use me; and my opinions, my dreams, and my hopes will be squashed.  My personal freedom will be lost.  

But what is true freedom?  Is freedom the ability to do whatever I want with no limitations, or is true freedom being submitted to another?

It's interesting to hear the Roman centurions comment to Jesus in Luke 7.  He seems to understand something inherent in the nature of relationships, namely that authority is measured out to the degree that one is under authority.  To the degree that one is under authority, that is the degree to which they have authority.  The freedom to exercise one's personal will (one's authority) is the result of submitting it to a higher authority.    The Roman centurion sees in Jesus a man who has authority because he is first and foremost a man who is under authority.  Jesus was in committed, self-sacrificing fellowship with his Father. 

I propose that being in committed community is the key to true personal freedom.  A healthy community will provide deep connection and union with others (a core human need) and at the same time affirm us in our own personhood.  How do we do this?  How do we form a committed sacrificial community that gives people the space to be who they really are? How does sacrifice relate to freedom? How does togetherness relate to solitude?  I have more questions than answers at this point.

What I do know is this: if we are going to live in Kingdom revolution, we must confront the isolating effects of individuality that our culture promotes... let us commit to a deeper level, let us experience freedom by committing ourselves to each other.