High Expectations

I want to live in unreality. Everything in me beleives that I can live at a pace that is faster than I am designed for. I want to cram it all in, experience everything life has to offer, and live like there's no tommorrow. I want to squeeze as much out of life as it will give. And yet I find myself wanting. I find myself exhausted, chasing and running from true life. The demands of reality catch up with me sooner or later. I have high expectations.

What's worse though is that I want everyone else to live up to the same unrealistic expectations. And I judge those who do not live up to the speed of life that I project to the world that i can maintain. Inside I am lonely, exhausted, and spent. I cannot keep up with the expectations I hold myself to, and I know this! But I still go on judging. And those who cannot live up to my expectations, I condemn and treat them in my heart with contempt because they sing a song that my heart wants to rebel against. They sing a song that says, "I am not God! I cannot meet everyone's needs or even my own. I am limited!!!

This is what I absolutely hate to admit, "I am limited." And yet something inside me comes to rest when I say that. Something in me slows down. Reality has hit its mark. I am not omnipresent. I am here, and nowhere else. And when I let go of my high expectations for myself, I can let go of all the judgment I heap on other limited people